Meal Wars

A few months after Keith and I were married, my stepson who was 16 at the time, complained rather vehemently about a meal I had made. Unbeknownst to me, he didn't (and probably still doesn't) like seafood and we'd had Garlic and Clam Sauce over Linguini. After a rather loud exchange, I pronounced that he would be making dinner the following evening and I would be choosing the menu. I would have liked to have him choose the menu, but figured he'd make frozen pizza and that wouldn't really teach him anything about what it takes to put a meal on the table.

The following day he arrived home from school to find a note taped to the door that outlined what I expected and that it should be on the table at 6:30 when I returned home from work. Now, let me say that I don't really think that was the best method for teaching a child what it takes to put a meal on the table. In self-defense, I wasn't used to having a teenager in the house and my other son was only 4.

Ideally, when meals are being made, everyone should take part and as most parenting advice columnists tell you, the little kids can set the table, older children can peel carrots and teenagers can help out by starting the roast, or whatever. Peel carrots? I'm embarrassed to admit that I haven't peeled a carrot in at least 5 years. That's why they make the baby carrots!

So for the rest of us, how do you get dinner on the table with a minimum of argument and not have to do it all yourself after getting home from work at 6:00pm or later? Every study that comes out on the subject talks about how important it is to have meals together and all the benefits for your children. The benefits range from lower incidence of alcohol and drug abuse, and higher grades to healthier eating habits and kids that are more confident. Just Google "importance of eating together as a family" and see how much comes up.

Fixing a meal doesn't have to be tough and it doesn't have to be take-out.

A meal assembly kitchen like Social Suppers can split the difference between a restaurant and doing everything from scratch at home. Many of my customers bring their school-age children with them and are surprised at how much more a child will try once they see what's going into the food. It provides a little one-on-one time with Mom or Dad, it takes a fraction of the time to put together several meals when all the chopping and ingredient shopping has been done for you, and it allows variety that you might not attempt at home due to ingredient constraints. (Who wants to buy the $10 spice that you may never use again?) And then you get home and the child who helped can read the directions that are on a 2" x 4" label and start dinner all by themselves. Talk about building self-esteem! It's not exactly the same as learning to make homemade bread with Grandma, but it still teaches kids how to read a recipe, what goes into a dish and tastes good together, and that food doesn't just magically appear on the table.

Oh, and for those wondering about how my stepson did with his dinner assignment: He did a lot of worrying and made it harder than it had to be, but in the end carried it off with grace, style and humor and we all enjoyed our meal that night. He also stated that he now understood what it took to put a meal on the table. Guess what else? He's married now and he does the cooking! That's what his wife and I call a good thing.